Thoughts on Looking for Others to be ...Me
I am one of those people who tries to help everyone else and then just hopes that others will catch the Faith bug and have the same mind about me that I have about them. I have spent so much time being disappointed and angry because I felt like everyone should think about community living the way that I do. Recently I realized that I was trying to get others to be me. I has costed me time, money, energy, and quality of relationships. I didn't realize it, but I was trying to mold others into what I wanted and leaving critical needs of my life unmet. I was being very unloving to myself and those around me. What I thought was sharing love turned into shared resentment and emotional abuse. Fortunately when we reach the point of reflection God is waiting there with the wisdom and encouragement that we need.
I see now that God can use me to nurture myself. I don't have to depend on a person to water me and I shouldn't. Last year I wrote a letter to myself as a part of my own grief recovery, and I read it when I start to lose my balance in issues and deadlines. The other day I cried when I read it because it was exactly what I needed to see. I forgave myself, encouraged myself, and reminded myself of who I am in Christ. I don't know why it's had such an effect on me, but I receive it. This is my promise to myself for this year, I will not look for anyone else to be who I should be to myself. Instead I will be diligent concerning myself physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. I may want other people to be more consequencial in my life, but I should never need people to be. It's too much pressure on others and too much potential for disappointment. I also have had to repent for using loving acts to indebt people into caring about me. That's not the type of love that I want to have for others.
What are you asking of others that you could be doing for yourself and are you using your gifts to nurture yourself as well as others? Imagine being a chef and cooking a beautiful meal for friends. If you fail to serve yourself and then complain that you are hungry, you shouldn't expect your friends to then cook exactly what you cooked to perfection for you. Cook for yourself!!!! In other words if you are the best at encouraging others, then you should probably be encouraging yourself too. If you are wonderful at organizing other's environments to make things more smoothly for them, then your personal space should be just as good. Charity begins at home and then spreads abroad. Let's be good to ourselves and in doing so we can then allow for others to be different from us.
I see now that God can use me to nurture myself. I don't have to depend on a person to water me and I shouldn't. Last year I wrote a letter to myself as a part of my own grief recovery, and I read it when I start to lose my balance in issues and deadlines. The other day I cried when I read it because it was exactly what I needed to see. I forgave myself, encouraged myself, and reminded myself of who I am in Christ. I don't know why it's had such an effect on me, but I receive it. This is my promise to myself for this year, I will not look for anyone else to be who I should be to myself. Instead I will be diligent concerning myself physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. I may want other people to be more consequencial in my life, but I should never need people to be. It's too much pressure on others and too much potential for disappointment. I also have had to repent for using loving acts to indebt people into caring about me. That's not the type of love that I want to have for others.
What are you asking of others that you could be doing for yourself and are you using your gifts to nurture yourself as well as others? Imagine being a chef and cooking a beautiful meal for friends. If you fail to serve yourself and then complain that you are hungry, you shouldn't expect your friends to then cook exactly what you cooked to perfection for you. Cook for yourself!!!! In other words if you are the best at encouraging others, then you should probably be encouraging yourself too. If you are wonderful at organizing other's environments to make things more smoothly for them, then your personal space should be just as good. Charity begins at home and then spreads abroad. Let's be good to ourselves and in doing so we can then allow for others to be different from us.
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