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Revelation, Redemption, Restoration

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There are many experiences that I have not shared because of the embarrassment or potential loss of face that I could experience. I am sharing one of those today to help someone experiencing an identity crisis. This story is in no wise pretty and it is the result of my skewed view of self. It may be triggering or offensive, but it is meant to be an example of what can happen when we see ourselves as anything other than God's masterpieces. I once sold myself for $45 and some chinese food. It was Valentine's day and the man I was dating wanted to take me out so we planned a few things. One of those things was sex. Yes I was saved at the time. Yes I had already messed up and had been restored. Yes I was serving in ministrty. Sin doesn't care where you are or what you are doing right. We got some delicious Chinese food and then headed to someplace I never imagined. It was a slimey looking Motel. It didn't look totally filthy, but it felt dirty. The small tab...
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Love, marriage, and sex

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 July 4th is my wedding anniversary.  My husband and I who met when we were 16 got married after several years of us dating and not dating.  He asked me to marry him at least 3 times, and the last time he just told me we were getting married and proposed after we had almost completely planned the wedding.  I suppose I shouldn't be surprised since, according to him, we had been dating for 3 months by the time I finally realized it.  He asked me to "roll with him" and this girl right here thought he was asking her to go somewhere together not be his girlfriend!  Our marriage journey wasn't ideal.  I was pregnant for the second time (insert eye roll here).  I didn't marry him though just because I was pregnant.  I had already turned him down once while pregnant.  I married him because I could see that he was all in and I was ready to be all in too.  He was offering me his whole life and he seemed to know what that meant.  He was r...
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Faith 2 Faith

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 Today, I was in prayer and realized that my faith life is changing.  I finished writing my prayer this morning which consisted of thanking God for creating in me the type of wife, mother, daughter, kinsman, friend, and business woman that he wants.  When I was done,  I looked back at some of my earlier entries.  Previously I had been asking God to do a lot of things and thanking God for things that he had done. When I compared the entries I saw my growth from asking God and being unsure as to the outcome, to thanking God for what he was going to do because according to his word it IS done.  This is why I love writing.  You can see your growth where you might miss it if you have to depend on your memory alone.  I was able to see my faith growth!  Some of you feel like you are in the same place that you were six months ago or a few years ago even, but if you are in Christ, he is growing you.  We are called to grow up into Christ and that ...
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Too Good to be True

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 I struggle with talking to good people about their need for Christ.  They don't cheat, steal, lie, judge, curse, drink, or do drugs.  They aren't sexually driven, or greedy for gain.  Why would good people see the need for some "god"  to guide them when they know how to be good on their own?  Scripture gives a simple answer to this question.  No one is good.  Psalm 14:1-3 1.The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is  none  that doeth  good .    2.The   Lord   looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God.   3. They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Mathew 19: 16-17 16   And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? 17   And he said un...
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Look -A-Likes

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  I often have found myself looking at my parents and trying to see what about me resembles them; my eyes are like Mom, my lashes like Dad.  I would take such pride in finding them in me.  It made me feel like I was a part of them and they a part of me. Others around me also took joy in arguing who they think spit me out.  "You look just like your daddy!" some person would say while another next to them would readily disagree.   Other times I would get "Wow you look like your mom!"  to which others would roll their eyes in disagreement.  People can't quite seem to agree.  Maybe its because my parents have been together for so long that they have started to look alike. I suppose building a life together tends to do that to people.  You start to resemble who/what you have spent the most time connecting with.  Now I sit down and think about how I might resemble Christ.  Is my heart shaped like his?  Does my patience stre...
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The Open Cell

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 I have talked with so many Christians who feels trapped.  Some fell into a trap while others made their own with their decisions.  I have felt this way too, and even recently.   When I got home with my youngest child after being in the hospital for almost two months, I found that I almost immediately needed to start  packing because our lease was expiring.  I talked to a friend about it who said, "I thought you had another year."  I did too and so it was unsettling that I had overlooked such a huge thing as housing!  We had one hope for a little house in the area, but when I went to see it I was heavily disappointed.  Even the foundation was cracking.  We found a housing program which seemed like a great opportunity, but then they told us that we made too much money to qualify.   So my lease ended and my rent was bumped up significantly where we were with no possibility of extending our lease because we didn't receive the...
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Blood Donation

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 I've donated blood before.  I remember being scared, but knowing that what I was doing was worth the discomfort.  I was a little dizzy and the needle stung.  It was faster than I thought it would be, and when I was done, I felt so proud that I was able to help someone.  I don't know who got that blood and they won't ever know that it was me.  My blood could have saved a life.  That is amazing to me. I know someone whose donated blood is guaranteed to save whoever accepts it.  This blood doesn't have a type, and it doesn't run out.  Anyone who gets this donation is healed from the worst disease to ever hit mankind.  This donation is the blood of Jesus, the only begotten son of God.  The disease the one that we are all born with is depravity.  It is the deadly sin nature.  We are all born wrong.  We are selfish, we hate, we envy, we lust after things that we can not and should not have.  We go chasing after false ...
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