Journal of Faith: Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling Philippians 2:12

I was contemplating what I call "love" for God yesterday and began to question if I loved God at all.  The Bible says that if we love him we would keep his commandments.  All of us have failed at that already, and if we were honest with ourselves and him then we would have to admit that we still fail at doing what God says when he says it still.  Did God mean that we love him if we obey him some of the time? My understanding of the character of God would cause me to say no.  God says what God means, if God meant that we loved him if we obeyed him sometimes, he would have said that. My spirit was grieved that by definition I don't love God.  I was devestated at the idea that every time that I have said that I loved him I was lying to myself.  Praise be to God that our relationship isn't based on my broken love, but his perfect love.  God knew from the beginning that I would fail in my love and chose me anyway. As a parent I know the devestat...

I am a pretty tough piece of work sometimes.  I argue with God and cry over spilled milk.  I pout and sneer when life doesn't look the way I want it to, but when those moments are over I realize that the hand of the most wonderful creator is God.  God is an artist creating beautiful works of our lives in order to show his love and glory in the earth.  Who am I to question what God has spoken over me or written in my epistle.  My life was meant to be a love letter from God to the world, and especially to me. It amazes me how often I  find myself spiritually and emotionally in better shape when my life is falling apart then when everything seems livable.  I have two guesses at why.  I think that when I pull together substandard opportunities for myself and manage to eek by with them I get stuck in a place that is better than where I was but nowhere near where I belong.  Being out of purpose is not only boring and wasteful, but it is detrement...

LONLINESS Something almost all single and stay at home parents can relate to is loneliness. For me the loneliness usually becomes the strongest around dinner time and continues through the evening. It's amazing how the dynamic changes when another adult is present. Many times I have found myself very hungry for adult companionship. I have cried out to God about this countless times. I have asked Him to take away the loneliness and to send people into my life. I have beat myself up for wanting others as badly as I do and I have grieved over a lost marriage. I have cried, been angry, grumpy, and impatient. I have made lots of phone calls and sat in the quietness. I don't like the loneliness, I really don't! Sometimes it feels like a heavy blanket weighing on my shoulders. The thing is that these intense feelings serve a positive purpose in my life. The loneliness and craving for companionship lead me closer to God. The discomfort serves as a catalyst in my relationship...