Journal of Faith: Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling Philippians 2:12

It takes a lot some days for me to realize the grace that God has given me. My pastor says all the time Christianity is the easiest religion in the world because all you have to do is believe and at the same time it is the hardest religion in the world because all you have to do is believe.  This is painfully true in my life, but I thank God for our relationship that I received when I chose to listen to has call in my life.  God doesn't want me or any child of his to be confused.  In the Bible is actually says that Satan is the author of confusion.  God doesn't save us just to leave us to our own devices because it is the inadequacy of our own devices that caused Jesus to have to live on earth, die, and rise again.  We don't cut it for ourselves or for the people around us. Our intelligence isn't enough.  We'll never be smart enough or clever enough to accomplish God's best for us without him, and who wants to settle for their idea of best instead of God's ...

        You know that weird achy feeling you get on your insides when something terrible happens to you or the people that you are closest to?  I am feeling that ache today.  I have found out one bad thing behind another this week, and it a has caused an inner exhaustion that I haven't felt since my family almost fell apart  two years ago. I feel like my heart has been pulverized and tenderized with malice.            I have noticed that, in my life, hardship either hardens me or softens me. This second major attempt on my families legacy and ministry has left me feeling worse than the first time because I became more sensitive after the first blow.  I believe that my having my son softened me, and the experience of a near divorce of my parents softened me even more.  I don't know what this last incident has done to me yet.  All that I know is that the hurt is familiar but...

There are so many ways to communicate with the Lord and with other people.  I often times write, but almost as often I sing.   The Lord places songs on my heart and I have to let them out.  Songs are my battle cry, my victory anthem, and my heart poured out.   Sometimes I get so caught up in emotional overload that my only way of talking becomes to sing. In the Bible it talks about the Holy Spirit interpreting our groans when we can't speak.  Well thank God that he not only brings me his word when I have none, but he also brings me songs to sing that lighten my load.  The great thing about me singing is that as I sing to God he kind of sings back to me.  It might be a song that my mother sings as she walks by me or something that comes onto the radio.  God has even sent me responses through my own voice.  Have you ever sung a song and not known why you were singing it until you listened to the words coming out of your mouth?...