Journal of Faith: Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling Philippians 2:12

As a young single mother it is easy for me to be angry because my son's father is out living his life while it seems that it would take a private investigator to find mine.  I don't think that I have really ever been mad about that.  I made a choice, and I have to live with that.  What I finally realize I am so upset about is the fact that a young woman who gets pregnant and then marries seems to get the royale treatment.  Baby showers, money, excitement, blessings galore. I feel like I tried to make a wise decision in the face of a hard life to come and am now getting ingored and passed over in favor of others who were guilty of the same sin. Not only that, but those who have had abortion or fornicated while managing not to get pregnant get a free pass in society.  This is not how it is suppose to be in the church especially.  I have repented and I am trying to take care of my family as best I can while being a good example, and all people can see is ...

This is a continuation of the thought from my previous blog because I just feel in my spirit that God is really revealing this to me.  It may be old news reworded, but here goes.  I know that some gentlemen or ladies may take this as an insult, but the truth is that God is the only one in our lives that is both necessary and sufficient.  Those are just science terms to say that God is the only one who is enough to fulfill all that we need in our lives. No husband will ever be enough, no wife will ever be sufficient, no child will be enough, no career will be sufficient, nothing is enough without God filling in all the empty space that these people and things can't.  I heard someone say once that because God created us to be in relationship with him that he placed a desire in us that only he can fulfill.  I am finding that to be so true right now for me.  I am not some sob story girl with a bad family history or anything like that.  I grew up in the chu...

I had an encounter with a strange woman today on my own email!  She was trying to instant message me for some inappropriate club.  I was in shock at first that this was happening through my very own email, but after that I decided that maybe she needed to hear the gospel.  I introduced the idea of Jesus into the conversation and quickly found out that she prefered to receive the satisfaction of being on a camera.  I tried to be real with her and offer an alternative to what she was doing, but she didn't want to hear a word of it.  I felt like this woman needed to feel the love of Jesus so badly that it broke my heart a bit that she didn't accept it.  I am to the point in my life now that I am realizing if people truly experience the love of God they won't accept the artificial man made commercial love that they have been accepting and then expecting to operate as the agape that only God can give.  I am no exception to this happening or I wouldn't be a ...

I took some quiet time with GOD because I felt like we needed it, and I didn't even know what I was looking for.  I just wanted to talk with GOD.  I wanted him to speak into me whatever I needed because I have gotten to the point lately where I don't even trust what I think I need anymore.  I don't trust myself to make the right decisions because I don't believe that anyone is trust worthy anymore. That is partially the result of a series of really unfortunate events that have happened recently and over the course of a few years as well.  GOD keeps telling me though "you can trust me.  Just try trusting me."  I know that I can trust GOD, but sometimes when certain things happen I really feel the need to check back and say "LORD, what are you doing?  I don't get it."  I felt in my spirit this morning that the LORD was reminding me of something that I heard a while ago.  GOD will only allow a certain precise amount of disaster in our lives....