Journal of Faith: Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling Philippians 2:12

 Thank God for his grace and mercy that covers me and gives me new opportunities every day.  I understand mercy, but grace is more radical to me.  Grace is giving someone something based on nothing else but your desire to give it. This is the part of life that I grapple with every day because I don't deserve grace, and there is no way that I could earn it.  I can understand asking God to withhold something bad from happening to me when I am truly sorry, but receiving good when I don't deserve it is pretty mind blowing for me.  The Lord showed me a couple of days ago that the reason why I don't have certain things that I want is because I haven't been open to receive them.  In the Bible it says that God wants to give us the desires of our hearts, so what has been stopping me from receiving? Doubt. I have felt for years now like my bad decisions put me in a place to not be able to receive blessings. I feel like I have fallen from grace and now must climb my w...

Hello, I am a single mother and there are so many things that no one tells you it's not funny.  Today I realized that I have been afraid of being dis-guarded and rendered trivial by my child.  I have been afraid that I will become obsolete to him.  My mother stayed with me and my siblings for all of our early childhood and it really created a great bond between us.  As a single mother I don't really have that option anymore.  I've tried to stay by him as much as possible, but I also have a responsibility to support him because I am our head of household.  This breaks my heart.  I don't want to be the mommy that's always working and doesn't have time to be mommy.  It's not fair to him or to me, but I made decision a long time ago that I have to live with.  It makes me angry to think about it. This is not the mother that I wanted to be. The Bible talks about our treasure showing where our hearts are, and I have to invest in my son's security....

  I was just talking to the Lord because I've seen a lot happening relationship wise and needed to remind myself  what God wants for me sexually. As a single woman it is important that I remind myself why I am not having sex. God showed me something new yesterday. He gave me revelation that sex is an act of worship.    Outside of marriage sex is an act of worship to ourselves, but in the marriage context of two Christians it is an act of worship to God. Single women and men, if we attempt sex without covenant it doesn't work.  Firstly because in order to understand how our relationships are suppose to work we must go to the originator.  Without God at the center of our understanding relationships are contorted into caricatures of what they should be. How can anyone say that they know the creation without ever referring to the creator and his inspiration?  Secondly sex without marriage doesn't work because they were meant to be together and not a...

When you have thoroughly prepared for your next level of life, then comes the moment of truth.  This is the moment where you feel the thrust and pains to produce what you have prepared for.  Sometimes it is our own decision to begin the birth process and other times the process is started by other forces. Either way there is no going back, and life sweeps us up like a giant wave.  In Romans it talks about how the whole earth groans like a woman in travail.  It is pretty safe to say that once you're in labor there is no re-thinking whether or not you are going to have a baby. This is the point of no return.  There is no more stalling, and there is no more time to get ready. You might be tempted to give up here because of the strain, hurt, and the loss of control, but the end is just a push or two away.     I feel that moment upon me.  I have planned for certain things in my life, and now the appointed days have come to challenge my knowledge...

Security is a huge necessity for me which is no surprise since I am a woman.  All my life I have been in search of my safe places. It seemed to me when I was younger that most people found that security in loving relationships and recognition from achievements so I dived in hard.  I was always a cuddly girl, and I clung on to my parents like a koala bear.  I have such wonderful parents that they allowed it and gave me a great secure foundation of love.  I did pretty well when it came to the achievement portion too.  I went far to please my parents all the time, and I was good at it.  I didn't consider it much of a struggle because I was enjoying my life.  I did things that I enjoyed well and then shared it with my parents who gave me both love and recognition.  They were with out doubt my safe place for many years, and sometimes they still are.  Things were all secure for me until I got to school.  In order to feel secure at school I n...