Journal of Faith: Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling Philippians 2:12

Last night I had a dream that I traveled to the past and warned myself to be careful because I was going to have a miscarriage.  I walked right up to myself and told her, "don't move any furniture and be careful because if you don't, you will lose the baby."  This is what I had done the Friday before my miscarriage, and while I can't be sure if this caused it, it might have.  At that time I didn't even know I was pregnant.  In my dream I was horrified at what I saw in myself, arrogance.  At that moment I was angry and desperate.  I pleaded with her that if she didn't listen, that baby was doomed. I didn't even remember that she didn't know yet that she was pregnant.  She finally relented, but I almost slapped myself when I saw that arrogant look on her face. Just for a moment, I thought of her as my most despised enemy.  I only was thinking of saving my baby, and she was thinking that I was trying to minimize her abilities. She didn't know I ...

I have taught my son's that every title comes with a job description.   My job as a parent is to encourage my children to become their best selves, and to show them the love of God through Christ Jesus in my daily life.  Check out my blog The Power of the Example to see my mommy covenant that I made for my sons.  My children's job is to listen to, learn from, and obey their father and me.  I have them quote Ephesians 6:1 if they seem to be forgetting that. Their job as brothers is to be good examples and with their lives to encourage their siblings to do what Mom and Dad have said; age doesn't matter.  I've seen the youngest children leading the older ones.  Age doesn't matter, obedience and wisdom does.      1 Corinthians 15:58 tells us to abound in the work of the LORD, but what is the job of the Christian?  I love my children's church scripture  1 Timothy 4:12. This scripture as well as the following verses is a wo...

All powerful, righteous judge, all loving, ever present, rich in all things, creator of everything, holy, perfect; this is my father.  I find it hard to believe I have ever held my head low when I have a father like this.  There is another word to describe the KING of kings...victor.  I am not referring to the name Victor but the title, and for those with the name Victor...you have a lot to live up to.  My daddy has never lost a fight.  In case you don't know, GOD always wins over the Devil.  The life, death, and resurrection of Jesus was the checkmate and there is nothing that can be done to undo it.  Mankind is free from the grips of evil forever if we choose to be.  Jesus took the keys of Hell and death from the pit, and, because HE rose again, we now have the power to rise up out of any situation.  Death is no longer a valid threat and Hell is off the table for all those who trust in the name of Jesus. This brings me to my conclusion ...

In my cultural context the word empty is seen as very negative.  Others words for empty could include: lacking, worthless, hollow, powerless, or drained.   Because we are all born into brokenness, empty happens at some point in all of our lives.  I am really feeling that as I think about the loss of my latest pregnancy (the first one since I've been married).  I feel physical lack  because my baby is gone. I feel mentally drained from trying to rationalize why this happened.  I feel hollowed out in my emotions, shock has rendered me almost catatonic.  I feel powerless to have stopped it, and I am fighting the feeling of worthlessness as a woman.  If I am being honest I feel completely depleted, empty.  This year has actually been very trying on my body with months of doctors guessing what's wrong with me, good nurses making painful mistakes that costed me weeks of recovery, and now this.  I feel so empty, and I wonder if this is similar ...

I think one of the big challenges for me is my hearing.  I talk to God all the time, but it seems like when God gets ready to  to speak to me there's wax stuck in my ears.  I once spent an entire school year in high school asking my friends "what did you say?" every time they spoke.  I am amazed that my friends were still around after a year of repeating themselves two, three, and four times.  I seriously thought that my hearing was fading.  As much as I tried and leaned in to hear, everything sounded like a distant echo.  I now realize that I was so distracted within my mind that I couldn't focus on what anyone else was saying.  My own voice was so loud in my thoughts that I couldn't hear people shouting right next to me. Have you ever felt like that in your spiritual life?  I have.  There have been so many moments where I thought I heard something from God but couldn't make out the words.  Thank God for his patience and persiste...