We overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony (see Revelation 12:11) Freedom is in the truth; of my struggles and God's grace. This is my eye witness testimony.
My Life written by ...
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I am a pretty tough piece of work sometimes. I argue with God and cry over spilled milk. I pout and sneer when life doesn't look the way I want it to, but when those moments are over I realize that the hand of the most wonderful creator is God. God is an artist creating beautiful works of our lives in order to show his love and glory in the earth. Who am I to question what God has spoken over me or written in my epistle. My life was meant to be a love letter from God to the world, and especially to me. It amazes me how often I find myself spiritually and emotionally in better shape when my life is falling apart then when everything seems livable. I have two guesses at why. I think that when I pull together substandard opportunities for myself and manage to eek by with them I get stuck in a place that is better than where I was but nowhere near where I belong. Being out of purpose is not only boring and wasteful, but it is detremental to my natural man and almost intolerable to my spirit. Self effort without the leading of Holy Spirit is exhausting and disappointing. The second reason why I think I become irritated when things seem to be alright is because I am not doing something that I should be doing. When I dig my heals into a season in my life I get so busy that I forget to listen for the voice of God. It's like I get stuck in quicksand. God says go and I stay. It almost always ends in God allowing my circumstances to get so unpleasant that I can't help but run! I say all of this to say that God does what we need him to do to get us where he knows we should be. His touch is firm but loving and his skill is unmatched by anything or anyone that we would prefer to be scripting our lives. It never fails that when I look back at a time in my life where I thought I knew better that God showed me something amazing that I was missing in all of my self righteousness. Thank you God for creating me with such skill that even I get to enjoy my unfolding as a witness. I've taken a liking to adding songs to my thoughts and God is such an artist that he brings me music to help me understand what is going on with me. Thank you God for that.
So I find that there are certain things that when done make for a much better day than when I don't do them. As a single mom sometimes it gets hard to do these and then everything seems to be a bigger ordeal for me. Lord help me to do better with that. I would tell you don't judge me, but I know you are going to do it anyway so I will say please be gracious toward me. 1. Start the snowball of positive thinking : For me this means prayers of thanks, reading my Bible, listening to positive music, writing a letter to God or to myself, even watching some Veggie Tales (what do you know about those Veggies?) with my son sometimes. The reality is there is enough negative that comes at me; why would I invite anything other than a flood of positive truth into my mind and my life? This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it...or else!!! haha just kidding (sort of) 2. Wash up!: Remember when I said be gracious?...
I was told that by 6 months old or so my son should be effectively sleeping through the night. Well, Tomorrow is his first birthday and he has already woken up twice...make that three times because he woke up while I was writing this! I really miss sleeping and I want my little one to get sleep too. He wakes up every two or three hours to nurse. I try to get him to go back to sleep, but a baby who is standing up and pulling on the side of his crib isn't going back to sleep easily. I sing, swing, shush , and attempt to swaddle, but he won't have any of it. Sometimes I let him cry his way back to sleep, but it only last for about a half hour before he reawakens more determined than before. The screaming wears on my nerves and the lack of sleep is wearing on my days. Some days I think "This is it. This is my life now. I will never feel rested again, and I will never be fully alert again." I expected to lose sleep when I found out I was pregnant. I expected to be tired, b...
I used to dream all the time that I was witnessing to people. People would ask me questions and I would begin to speak about the goodness of the Lord, and how Jesus was the solution to all of their problems or desires. I feel anointed to be having those dreams again. Maybe someone needs these words. I talk about my journey of faith, but maybe you haven't begun that journey yet so let me tell you about Jesus. Jesus is the Christ, the savior of the world, the messiah, the only begotten son of God. Jesus is God in humanity. He came down to earth, lived a human life, did miraculous things to show people who he was and how much he loved them. Jesus felt every human emotion that any of us have ever felt. Jesus taught us how to live as people of God. Then he died so that we wouldn't have to be separated from him anymore. You see sin separates us from God because he is holy. We all have sinned therefore we all should be separated fro...
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