A message on Lonliness by Shannon Dean Steinwandel
LONLINESS
Something almost all single and stay at home parents can relate to is loneliness. For me the loneliness usually becomes the strongest around dinner time and continues through the evening. It's amazing how the dynamic changes when another adult is present. Many times I have found myself very hungry for adult companionship. I have cried out to God about this countless times. I have asked Him to take away the loneliness and to send people into my life. I have beat myself up for wanting others as badly as I do and I have grieved over a lost marriage. I have cried, been angry, grumpy, and impatient. I have made lots of phone calls and sat in the quietness.
I don't like the loneliness, I really don't! Sometimes it feels like a heavy blanket weighing on my shoulders. The thing is that these intense feelings serve a positive purpose in my life. The loneliness and craving for companionship lead me closer to God. The discomfort serves as a catalyst in my relationship with Him. I seek Him more fervently and trust in and rely on His provision more deeply. I feel like the loneliness pushes me into these things because they wouldn't have happened without it.
My prayers for the support of others in my life has been and continue to be answered. About 2 years ago I prayed for more friendship and strong relationship in my life and of course God heard me and has brought several wonderful people to me. The best part is that my relationship with God has strengthened. I am learning to turn to Him at the first signs of loneliness, knowing that He is the ONLY one who can truly satisfy all my relationship needs and desires. Not too long ago, God confronted me. I was feeling sorry for myself and complaining about feeling lonely. He gently reminded me that I needed to make Him my best friend first and keep Him in that position no matter what. "But God" I whined, "How do I make you my best friend? What do I do when I just want a hug or someone to sit with me? What about when I need someone to talk to? What about when I want to go do something fun and have a companion with me? How can you fill all these desires of mine?" That's when He gently whispered,
"Shannon, I will fulfill all these things and more if you surrender more of yourself to me. It's up to you."
Of course, God has been faithful to His promises. During the summer I was at a particularly difficult event and took a walk to be with God for a few minutes. I was sitting down and desperately wanted someone to hold my hand. A minute later I felt a hand in mine and I knew it was God's.
I am so grateful that God is so gentle and loving with me. His guidance is perfectly timed and His provision is exactly what I need. God has challenged me to go to Him with every single tiny craving of mine. He has showed me that He created people to crave Him and it is His hope that we crave Him more than anything else. I'm still working on this one, thank goodness I'm making progress. I am also looking at myself as my own best friend. Recently I have gone to the beach and enjoyed the breeze and stillness there. I have started reading a good book. I watched a funny and touching movie. I've done lots of projects around the house in preparation for back-to-school. I'm learning to enjoy my own company and the sweet fellowship of God and in the midst of that the loneliness has decreased and even vanished completely at times. I am getting to know myself better and in turn am getting better at setting boundaries with others. To say that I have experienced some blessings as a result of my loneliness is an understatement. I am experiencing abundant blessings from my loneliness. Of course God knows what He is doing and I am learning to trust Him more. I have been told that trust and faith often take time and practice. I am seeing that the practice is often not totally fun while going through it. But the end result is so worth it!!
Shannon Steinwandel is a single stay at home mom to three precious blessings. She blogs at www.thecsmom.blogspot.com. You can also find her sharing "celebrations" on her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/celebratorysinglemom
Something almost all single and stay at home parents can relate to is loneliness. For me the loneliness usually becomes the strongest around dinner time and continues through the evening. It's amazing how the dynamic changes when another adult is present. Many times I have found myself very hungry for adult companionship. I have cried out to God about this countless times. I have asked Him to take away the loneliness and to send people into my life. I have beat myself up for wanting others as badly as I do and I have grieved over a lost marriage. I have cried, been angry, grumpy, and impatient. I have made lots of phone calls and sat in the quietness.
I don't like the loneliness, I really don't! Sometimes it feels like a heavy blanket weighing on my shoulders. The thing is that these intense feelings serve a positive purpose in my life. The loneliness and craving for companionship lead me closer to God. The discomfort serves as a catalyst in my relationship with Him. I seek Him more fervently and trust in and rely on His provision more deeply. I feel like the loneliness pushes me into these things because they wouldn't have happened without it.
My prayers for the support of others in my life has been and continue to be answered. About 2 years ago I prayed for more friendship and strong relationship in my life and of course God heard me and has brought several wonderful people to me. The best part is that my relationship with God has strengthened. I am learning to turn to Him at the first signs of loneliness, knowing that He is the ONLY one who can truly satisfy all my relationship needs and desires. Not too long ago, God confronted me. I was feeling sorry for myself and complaining about feeling lonely. He gently reminded me that I needed to make Him my best friend first and keep Him in that position no matter what. "But God" I whined, "How do I make you my best friend? What do I do when I just want a hug or someone to sit with me? What about when I need someone to talk to? What about when I want to go do something fun and have a companion with me? How can you fill all these desires of mine?" That's when He gently whispered,
"Shannon, I will fulfill all these things and more if you surrender more of yourself to me. It's up to you."
Of course, God has been faithful to His promises. During the summer I was at a particularly difficult event and took a walk to be with God for a few minutes. I was sitting down and desperately wanted someone to hold my hand. A minute later I felt a hand in mine and I knew it was God's.
I am so grateful that God is so gentle and loving with me. His guidance is perfectly timed and His provision is exactly what I need. God has challenged me to go to Him with every single tiny craving of mine. He has showed me that He created people to crave Him and it is His hope that we crave Him more than anything else. I'm still working on this one, thank goodness I'm making progress. I am also looking at myself as my own best friend. Recently I have gone to the beach and enjoyed the breeze and stillness there. I have started reading a good book. I watched a funny and touching movie. I've done lots of projects around the house in preparation for back-to-school. I'm learning to enjoy my own company and the sweet fellowship of God and in the midst of that the loneliness has decreased and even vanished completely at times. I am getting to know myself better and in turn am getting better at setting boundaries with others. To say that I have experienced some blessings as a result of my loneliness is an understatement. I am experiencing abundant blessings from my loneliness. Of course God knows what He is doing and I am learning to trust Him more. I have been told that trust and faith often take time and practice. I am seeing that the practice is often not totally fun while going through it. But the end result is so worth it!!
Shannon Steinwandel is a single stay at home mom to three precious blessings. She blogs at www.thecsmom.blogspot.com. You can also find her sharing "celebrations" on her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/celebratorysinglemom
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