Revelation, Redemption, Restoration

There are many experiences that I have not shared because of the embarrassment or potential loss of face that I could experience. I am sharing one of those today to help someone experiencing an identity crisis. This story is in no wise pretty and it is the result of my skewed view of self. It may be triggering or offensive, but it is meant to be an example of what can happen when we see ourselves as anything other than God's masterpieces. I once sold myself for $45 and some chinese food. It was Valentine's day and the man I was dating wanted to take me out so we planned a few things. One of those things was sex. Yes I was saved at the time. Yes I had already messed up and had been restored. Yes I was serving in ministrty. Sin doesn't care where you are or what you are doing right. We got some delicious Chinese food and then headed to someplace I never imagined. It was a slimey looking Motel. It didn't look totally filthy, but it felt dirty. The small table where we put our food was wobly. I turned on the tv to see what we could watch and it was pornography. I quickly turned that off and proceeded to our activities. We sealed our sin with a kiss and a photo and proceeded to leave. As the young man went to return the key, he surprisingly got a partial refund because we didn't spend the night. He got back into the car, handed me $45, and said ,"Happy Valentine's Day." It was at that moment that I realized that I gave myself up to a man for $45 and some Chinese food. I was devestated and began the work to reclaim my true identity. Thank God that I had at least heard about my value before this because had I not at least thought that I was worth more than this, I would have been happy. That event started a spirtal and I eventually broke up with him. It took some time to get to a place where I could forgive myself for that, but thankfully I serve a God who is the best at it. I had some more fallen moments after that, but nothing quite like this. It was a never again moment for me. If there is one thing that I learned, it was that it is critical to see myself from God's perspective, and every day this world tries to cloud that what popular phrases and cultural norms. The battle of the mind is really an all out assault on our identity and God's authority. We'll be talking about the identity piece today. Ephesians 2 1 And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; 2 Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: 3 Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, 5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) 6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: 7 That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. 11 Wherefore remember, that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh, who are called Uncircumcision by that which is called the Circumcision in the flesh made by hands; 12 That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world: 13 But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ. 14 For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us; 15 Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace; 16 And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby: 17 And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh. 18 For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father. 19 Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; 20 And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; 21 In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: 22 In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit. Okay so there is a lot in this scripture to unpack, but the big picture is that we are created by God and for his glory. When we came into this world we were all broken down houses. Sin causes brokenness and we were made in it so we reflect that, but God has always had our blueprint. We are meant to be a beautiful temple whose foundation is Christ and that houses his very spirit. If we accept his foundation for us which is Christ, God buys us out and restores us. That is powerful! God doesn't create us in a broken or unstable way. He is the masterful architect and he never makes a mistake. We are built to last. If we think of ourselves as God's temple built strong and beautiful, then how do we end up so busted and dirty after we become his? Like any other building, we are vandalized. We are vandalized when we begin to believe the lies that people tell us aobut ourselves and the world. We are vandalized when we begin to take on the culture instead of standing upright on God's word. We begin to crumble as we give ourselves over to worldly lusts and desires, and in that moment we begin to look like what we were restored from or even worse. If I had to put it plainly, the moment we forget who we are is the moment that the stain of sin and lies starts to cling to our being and make us look and possibly feel worthless. Thank God for his restoration. There is a story in three of the four gospels of Jesus Christ, in the Bible, that talks about a man whose hand was restored. The man's hand had been crumpled up and Jesus healed him. If we look at what it means to be restored, it means to be returned to its original and perfect state of being and function (that is my own description). Just like this man,when we are unable to function properly it is because something withered in our being, and needs to be restored. Jesus instructed the man to stretch out his withered hand, and as he exposed his hand his restoration was complete. If there are some things in your life that are just not working right, it is time to go through and expose the withered places of your life. It is in the vulnerability that invites God to begin scraping away the grime and restoring the broken places of you. Show God what's wrong and where it hurts. He can make you whole again. Finally, understand that some people will hate that you are getting better because of Jesus. In the story of the man with the withered hand who was restored by Jesus, there was a challenge. It was the sabbath day of rest in the Jewish culture and religious people were rebuking and hating Jesus because he healed on the sabbath. The culture doesn't like to be messed with. If every person you know is having sex and it gets out that you are saying no because of your relationship with Jesus, then people will start talking about you. I was accused of being gay when I was younger because I was turning guys down left and right. It didn't help that I was also atheletic and not super girly, but I could have been girly and having sex while gay. It was a tool to explain away my divergence from the cultural norm. After Jesus restored the man with the withered hand people began plotting to kill him! I say this to say that if you allow God to fix your temple up and that light comes on, some people will get uncomfortable. Just pray for them that they also receive restoration and move on. Don't pretend that your lights are cut off because everyone else's are. When they come to see where that shining light is coming from, let them know that God did it through Jesus Christ and that this same restoration can take place in their lives too. Mathew 5:15-17 15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. 17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.