I thought You Were a Christian!
I used to ask my students this question when they started to act carelessly, "what
if everything that you said, did, and thought were on display for
everyone to see, and you had to make an account for every one of
those things?" It is disheartening when I realize that I've just failed a life test, but to me, the only thing worse than failing is failing in front of someone else, and seeing the confusion on their face. I don't know if you have ever had this happen to you, but I remember the sting that I felt when someone at my elementary school looked at me after I had done something that I knew was wrong and said, "I thought you said you were a Christian." Even at a tender age I knew that I had just lost my witness. I felt so ashamed and regretful. It was one thing for me to gain a bad reputation because of a choice I had made, but the idea that I was marring someone else's view of God was almost too much to bear. The conviction made me very aware that people were watching my life walk to see if I really believed what I said.
I admit that it can be hard to balance grace with responsibility when it comes to living a Christian life. One thing that I am constantly reminded of is that my lifestyle isn't about going to heaven or hell, it's about allowing God to use my life as a love letter to someone else. I am not Christ, but I follow him. My life should be a reflection of that. At the same time, I am a work in progress. I am a living epistle (letter) read of all men, but I am not the hero of my story, Jesus is. Sometimes my story shows my view of God looking up at him from a pit that I have fallen into. Sometimes my story shows God's patience with me when I am having a grown-up fit. Sometimes my story shows God hugging me while I cry, and other times my story shows God stripping away the lies that have attached themselves to me along my journey of faith. It is not always during the moments when I am at my best that I see God, or show God, so clearly. Every time that I have come to the end of myself, and said, "I have nothing else. This is it God. There is no more", God has shown himself strongly in my life. My life's goal is for people to see beyond me to the savior Jesus Christ.
Maybe the world doesn't need to see me being "perfect" all the time, maybe it needs to see me living in truth and submitting myself to God who loves me, restores me, revives me, protects them, forgives me constantly, perfects me, and guides me into all truth. However, the question still remains, what do I do if I find myself tripped up in a fault in front of people who are either looking for me to fall or who are just innocent bystanders and witnesses to my fallibility? What do I say or do when someone looks at me with that look that says, "I thought you were a Christian?" Now, I feel like if someone sees me mess up, then they need to see me get up too. Sin is not the end of the journey for the Christian, it is the starting point for the story of mercy and grace through Jesus Christ. When I make a bad decision or offend someone, I try to correct it as quickly as possible, and I thank God for Jesus.
Being a Christian doesn't mean that I am perfect right now, it means that I have given God permission to shine the light on me and heal the broken places in my heart and my life. Being a Christian doesn't mean that I am not allowed to mess up, but it means that when I fall I get back up and keep going. Where am I going? I am going toward the heart of Christ; I am striving to become a better reflection of the heart of God for the people of this world.
Philippians 3:14
I admit that it can be hard to balance grace with responsibility when it comes to living a Christian life. One thing that I am constantly reminded of is that my lifestyle isn't about going to heaven or hell, it's about allowing God to use my life as a love letter to someone else. I am not Christ, but I follow him. My life should be a reflection of that. At the same time, I am a work in progress. I am a living epistle (letter) read of all men, but I am not the hero of my story, Jesus is. Sometimes my story shows my view of God looking up at him from a pit that I have fallen into. Sometimes my story shows God's patience with me when I am having a grown-up fit. Sometimes my story shows God hugging me while I cry, and other times my story shows God stripping away the lies that have attached themselves to me along my journey of faith. It is not always during the moments when I am at my best that I see God, or show God, so clearly. Every time that I have come to the end of myself, and said, "I have nothing else. This is it God. There is no more", God has shown himself strongly in my life. My life's goal is for people to see beyond me to the savior Jesus Christ.
Maybe the world doesn't need to see me being "perfect" all the time, maybe it needs to see me living in truth and submitting myself to God who loves me, restores me, revives me, protects them, forgives me constantly, perfects me, and guides me into all truth. However, the question still remains, what do I do if I find myself tripped up in a fault in front of people who are either looking for me to fall or who are just innocent bystanders and witnesses to my fallibility? What do I say or do when someone looks at me with that look that says, "I thought you were a Christian?" Now, I feel like if someone sees me mess up, then they need to see me get up too. Sin is not the end of the journey for the Christian, it is the starting point for the story of mercy and grace through Jesus Christ. When I make a bad decision or offend someone, I try to correct it as quickly as possible, and I thank God for Jesus.
Philippians 3:14
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of
witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so
easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
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