Why I said NO to marriage!

I got my first marriage proposal when I was 15 years old. I said no, and I thought he was joking. I got my second proposal when I was 17, and he was not joking. I said yes at first and then no because I wanted to get my education first. My ex-boyfriend tried everything to get me to marry him from the time I was 17 until I was 21. I broke up with him several times over the four years of our relationship, but he always convinced me to try again. I loved him more than I loved myself. Finally he decided that enough was enough, and he agreed that we shouldn't be together. I wanted to be friends and he went along with the idea even though he hated it. One year later I was pregnant with his baby. Where did I go wrong? I tried to be friends with someone who I loved, and he wanted to be more than friends. The worst part is that I was trying to be abstinent! I was in a mess, and once again the idea of marriage was placed on the table. I am not going to say that it was a trap, but what do you think? I once again refused to a marry him partly because of his reaction to my pregnancy and partly because I knew that he wasn't a good marriage choice for me. A good marriage candidate would bring out the good in me and encourage me to be the best that I could be. He would show himself to be trust worthy even when he was at his worst and he would still love and trust me when I was at my worst. If I were to marry I would also want to enter the marriage in a secure financial situation.
Marriage is a binding contract and a statement that you have found your mate for life. It is not just something new that you "try" and so I said no to a marriage that would end in divorce and/or misery. To me marriage is forever and the only reason why I would ever get divorced is if my husband abused anyone in my home , cheated on me, or refused to even attempt to provide for our family. I consider these three things to be a breech of contract. Marriage is not for the faint of heart or the immature. I am a single parent, and I chose to be. I believe in marriage, but with the right person.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5 things that could keep you from getting so angry

So I find that there are certain things that when done make for a much better day than when I don't do them.  As a single mom sometimes it gets hard to do these and then everything seems to be a bigger ordeal for me. Lord help me to do better with that.  I would tell you don't judge me, but I know you are going to do it anyway so I will say please be gracious toward me.  1.  Start the snowball of positive thinking : For me this means prayers of thanks, reading my Bible, listening to positive music, writing a letter to God or to myself, even watching some Veggie Tales (what do you know about those Veggies?)  with my son sometimes.   The reality is there is enough negative that comes at me; why would I invite anything other than a flood of positive truth into my mind and my life? This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it...or else!!!  haha just kidding (sort of) 2.  Wash up!: Remember when I said be gracious?...
Read more

Mr. Sandman Where are you?

I was told that by 6 months old or so my son should be effectively sleeping through the night. Well, Tomorrow is his first birthday and he has already woken up twice...make that three times because he woke up while I was writing this! I really miss sleeping and I want my little one to get sleep too. He wakes up every two or three hours to nurse. I try to get him to go back to sleep, but a baby who is standing up and pulling on the side of his crib isn't going back to sleep easily. I sing, swing, shush , and attempt to swaddle, but he won't have any of it. Sometimes I let him cry his way back to sleep, but it only last for about a half hour before he reawakens more determined than before. The screaming wears on my nerves and the lack of sleep is wearing on my days. Some days I think "This is it. This is my life now. I will never feel rested again, and I will never be fully alert again." I expected to lose sleep when I found out I was pregnant. I expected to be tired, b...
Read more

I have a dream

I used to dream all the time that I was witnessing to people.  People would ask me questions and I would begin to speak about the goodness of the Lord, and how Jesus was the solution to all of their problems or desires.  I feel anointed to be having those dreams again.  Maybe someone needs these words.  I talk about my journey of faith, but maybe you haven't begun that journey yet so let me tell you about Jesus.  Jesus is the Christ, the savior of the world, the messiah, the only begotten son of God.  Jesus is God in humanity. He came down to earth, lived a human life, did miraculous things to show people who he was and how much he loved them.  Jesus felt every human emotion that any of us have ever felt. Jesus taught us how to live as people of God.  Then he died so that we wouldn't have to be separated from him anymore.   You see sin separates us from God because he is holy.  We all have sinned therefore we all should be separated fro...
Read more