Mommy's Bill of UnRights- We can laugh at it... sometimes
As a mother of a toddler you NO LONGER have the right to
Move freely: With so much to see and do your toddler can't afford to miss a thing, which is why they won't let you leave them behind. for the trips around the house leg or arm is good enough to secure their transport, but outside trips require their first class seating with entertainment, a smorgasbord, a nap, walking breaks, potty/diaper breaks, a change of clothing, moist towelettes, snuggling breaks, juice breaks, perfect temperature, and above all else easy access to mommy. With these things you and your toddler will be ready for the long haul. just don't make it more than 10 minutes or get caught in traffic.
Avoid bad smells or big messes: They dealt it now you smell it and clean it quickly before it spreads. Ew! This includes but is not limited to poop, vomit, spit, and pee. when you hear "uh oh" it's time to go clean up the mess. the posibilities for what you will find are almost limitless. Hope you have a strong stomach.
Eat in peace: food taxes are highly encouraged to avoid the all powerful wining and probable smash and grab of a hungry or curious toddler. indigestion included
Sleep through the night: If you have a strong willed child or an accident prone one be prepared to hear the thundering roam of a toddler in need of "MOMMY!"
Bathe in peace : mommy must be available to her child at all times. relax and wash on your own time which is not likely to come around for the next couple of years. Bad hair days included
Clean clothes: Blouses, and t-shirts make the best hand towels and snot clothes. This is common knowledge to most toddlers
Take more than 10 seconds to use the bathroom without interruption or complaint : privacy is not a concern, nor dignity, for a toddler wishing to use his all access pass to your most private moments. remember mommy's must be accessible at all times
Any game that is not for small children : While stealing, eating, and breaking game pieces is considered a game for most toddlers, you probably won't think so
Fun of any kind that does not include or reward your child: Grown up fun is taxing on toddlers therefore they must be compensated for pain and suffering. after all everything is suppose to be about them!
Movies that are not for families or children: toddlers are excellent movie quoters and they are sure to hit every curse word in your movie at least once while running around shooting your guests and touching each other inappropriately. If you don't believe me just spend a day in a preschool.
Peace of mind or lingering sanity: Composure is for those who have failed to produce anything worth fighting for and serenity is for those who have died.
all rights reserved by Toddlers
Move freely: With so much to see and do your toddler can't afford to miss a thing, which is why they won't let you leave them behind. for the trips around the house leg or arm is good enough to secure their transport, but outside trips require their first class seating with entertainment, a smorgasbord, a nap, walking breaks, potty/diaper breaks, a change of clothing, moist towelettes, snuggling breaks, juice breaks, perfect temperature, and above all else easy access to mommy. With these things you and your toddler will be ready for the long haul. just don't make it more than 10 minutes or get caught in traffic.
Avoid bad smells or big messes: They dealt it now you smell it and clean it quickly before it spreads. Ew! This includes but is not limited to poop, vomit, spit, and pee. when you hear "uh oh" it's time to go clean up the mess. the posibilities for what you will find are almost limitless. Hope you have a strong stomach.
Eat in peace: food taxes are highly encouraged to avoid the all powerful wining and probable smash and grab of a hungry or curious toddler. indigestion included
Sleep through the night: If you have a strong willed child or an accident prone one be prepared to hear the thundering roam of a toddler in need of "MOMMY!"
Bathe in peace : mommy must be available to her child at all times. relax and wash on your own time which is not likely to come around for the next couple of years. Bad hair days included
Clean clothes: Blouses, and t-shirts make the best hand towels and snot clothes. This is common knowledge to most toddlers
Take more than 10 seconds to use the bathroom without interruption or complaint : privacy is not a concern, nor dignity, for a toddler wishing to use his all access pass to your most private moments. remember mommy's must be accessible at all times
Any game that is not for small children : While stealing, eating, and breaking game pieces is considered a game for most toddlers, you probably won't think so
Fun of any kind that does not include or reward your child: Grown up fun is taxing on toddlers therefore they must be compensated for pain and suffering. after all everything is suppose to be about them!
Movies that are not for families or children: toddlers are excellent movie quoters and they are sure to hit every curse word in your movie at least once while running around shooting your guests and touching each other inappropriately. If you don't believe me just spend a day in a preschool.
Peace of mind or lingering sanity: Composure is for those who have failed to produce anything worth fighting for and serenity is for those who have died.
all rights reserved by Toddlers
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