My Faith Seed Part 2

 I read one of my previous posts from last year about my desire to see the promises of God working in my life, and I have a report to go along with that previous post.  To see the part 1 of this post go to growing my little faith seed. In the past month or two I have been really tired and simply holding on to the hope that I would see the results if I didn't faint. Galatians 6:9 says "and let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." (KJV) In the past week I have been sent flowers and a spa kit, given a new stove and refrigerator, and had my summer classes paid for.  Thank you Jesus!  I am a witness that his word is true and his love is strong.  I am moving from faith to faith and from glory to glory.  With God I always win.  

The part of the story that it pains me to tell you is that right before all of this happened I almost let go.  I was standing in my room and had a vision of what my life would be like if I just gave up being a mom, being a good girlfriend, being a good daughter, and even being a good Christian.  I almost let go of my sanity and, for a minute, the life of a suicidal roving bum and public menace was appealing to me. I saw myself walking down the middle of the street screaming at cars as they went by.  I saw myself going into back corners with whoever I wanted, and I saw myself laughing as I cursed God aloud.  A small voice inside said, "do it. You deserve to be free."  I saw my parents crying, and my pastor mystified as I flashed anyone that drove by and then threw myself in front of a truck. I was daring God to strike me down.  I stayed in that imagination too long, but then I heard the words of Galatians 6:9 and it pulled me back.  Thank God for the Holy Spirit that brings back to our remembrance the word that Jesus has said (John 14:26). The word of God saved my sanity. It wasn't a particularly bad day for me.  I was simply straightening my room when this happened to me.  You don't have to be doing anything wrong to get targeted by the enemy so stay vigilant.  I was targeted right before I received my blessing.  If you have been targeted, don't lose the faith because I believe your blessing is on it's way.