Some Thoughts While Nursing Again

Yes I am nursing again. I don't know how much longer I will be able to keep this up. Since my son is 12 months now the subject of weening has come up more than once. I could start weening, but I feel like I would be losing something if I did. I feel like if my son doesn't need me for nursing than it is the beginning of him not needing me anymore. I will be reduced to just another person in his life, no more important than anyone else. Of course I know a mother is always important in her children's lives, but I guess I will miss the personal time with me and him. No one else can do for him what I do for him, but once the nursing is gone anyone can do the exact things that I do for him. I don't want to be replaced! It doesn't help that his father's family said that I wouldn't be experiencing anything more than his father. I really resent that. I carried my son for nine months in my stomach and went through 30 hours of labor, but they think I am no more important than their son who has done almost nothing. I guess I want to show them that I am important in his life. This fear of unimportance was a year in the making. I guess I will work on finding another way to bond with my little boy. After all I can't nurse forever. Alright done nursing for this time.

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