Is That God or Am I Just Crazy?

People must think I am crazy the way I seem to be talking to myself.  Here is how my process goes when I am waiting to hear from the Lord about a prayer:  I ask God what to do, then I wait to get an idea.  An idea comes and then I say God is that you or is it just me?  Then I proceed to wonder if the idea came from God or if it was some rambling of my own mind.  Then I worry that I am just following my own idea instead of waiting for God's idea, and I ask God again.  Lord do you want me to do this?  I feel like the idea might work, but I don't want to move because I want confirmation that it was indeed God and so I ask again.  Lord are you sure that it was you?  This process could go on for weeks, and sometimes out loud!  So how do I know that I am not just going crazy?   I do the check for biblical soundness, and I ask a wise person what they think.  I have God's word to go on that he will never contradict himself therefore if the thought I get goes against the Bible I know that it isn't God.  I guess I am learning, but the listening process for me is grueling.  I would never want to attribute anything to the Lord that he didn't tell me.  The more I listen the more I understand that the Holy Spirit leads me to certain solutions and it can sometimes seem like me because it does come from within me.  The Holy Spirit is in me so of course it would come from within.  Maybe I need to know myself better too.  I should know what I think, but sometimes I don't know what to think.  Sometimes I think I am a little crazy, but maybe it is just insecurity.  The only way for me to relieve that is through practiced success in more than one instance.  I guess I will just keep talking to God and listening for his response.  Sometimes I read and get the response or someone comes up to me with what I needed to hear.  God is good to me like that. Thank you Lord for always knowing what I need, and always understanding that I am in a learning process that will never be completely finished until you come back for me.  Amen.

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