Hiding behind a picture of Imperfection?!
As I was doing my worship time this evening I felt the overwhelming realization that I have been hiding behind my imperfections to the point of stagnating my education, my ministry, and my relationship opportunities. I told myself that I couldn't go to school because I had my son. I told myself I couldn't do ministry because I didn't know which one to do, and I told myself that I would not bother building relationships because I would only be disappointed and disappointing. I said to myself too many times a little phrase that I don't even let in my classroom. I said "I Can't" to everything that might have caused me to be happy. I even refused to take care of myself because I wanted people to see me "the way I really was." I was hiding behind every imperfection and claiming it as my identity. I sold God short. I was pulling a Moses
Moses felt like he was unqualified for the job as representative of Israel to Pharaoh because he had a speech issue. He acted as if God didn't already know about his speech and asked God for someone to speak for him, who turned out to be Aaron. Moses hid behind his speech problem in order to sidestep God's mission for him, but it didn't work. He ended up still having to go to Pharaoh. This lets me know that there is nothing that I can hide behind because God is able to remove any excuse that I attempt to make up. We could show God our height (or lack thereof), weight, family dynamic, educational history, disabilities, or anything else to deter God from his intentions for us, but God just watches the show before repeating his instructions to us. After Jonah got spat out of a big fish God's instructions to him did not change. Jonah ran from God as far as he could go and still God told him the same message, go to Ninevah. You might say that these men are all old testiment, but let's talk about Paul. He wrote most of the new testiment and he started out as a persecuter of anyone who called Jesus Lord. God called him out so strongly that he lost his site for a while. God doesn't care who you think you aren't or who men say that you are. He chooses us and gives each of us instructions that do not change. We can put on a big show if we like and put ourselves through undue misery, but God will not change his instructions when he gives us work to do. None of our imperfections can serve as deal breakers when God calls us into line. He always makes provisions for our every deficiency. Every work that he places in front of us to do he helps us to do. God is miraculous like that. All things are possible with God.
I didn't think until now that my imperfections were just the silk screen to hide who I really am. What if I never mentioned my scars, would anyone notice them? Am I really only my scars? The marks of my life are not who I am, they are simply a part of an experience that I had. Who I am is who I was born to be by the ordination of God almighty. Those are the things that people won't see if they are focused on my scars or clothing. I am learning that when I am acting as who God wants me to be people don't notice anything wrong with me. I am not really suppose to be showing myself anyway, I am suppose to be showing God. In order for me to get to that point I have to present myself in a way that makes people welcome to visit with me. I don't have to come through every life situation looking and acting like a devested land because I know in whom I believe, and greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. I am a victor not a victim and I don't have to look or act like one. I have a mark that bears more weight than any other in my life and that is my seal of redemption. Instead of looking at my scars I will choose to look at my seal instead. I am marked by God am therefore equipped for any purpose that he has bestowed on me. I bear the heavenly stamp of approval which wipes out any other artificial qualifications I might think that I need. I have no excuse to be anything less or do anything less than what God has told me. He was patient and waited for me to end my show of excuses and now he has said his part "do what I said. You can do it." I have a purpose and I will do whatever he allows me to get it done. It has never worked in anyone's favor to say "no" to God or "but." It never works out how we think it will, and I for one would not like to be digested or blinded. Thank God for his understanding and mercy concerning me.
Moses felt like he was unqualified for the job as representative of Israel to Pharaoh because he had a speech issue. He acted as if God didn't already know about his speech and asked God for someone to speak for him, who turned out to be Aaron. Moses hid behind his speech problem in order to sidestep God's mission for him, but it didn't work. He ended up still having to go to Pharaoh. This lets me know that there is nothing that I can hide behind because God is able to remove any excuse that I attempt to make up. We could show God our height (or lack thereof), weight, family dynamic, educational history, disabilities, or anything else to deter God from his intentions for us, but God just watches the show before repeating his instructions to us. After Jonah got spat out of a big fish God's instructions to him did not change. Jonah ran from God as far as he could go and still God told him the same message, go to Ninevah. You might say that these men are all old testiment, but let's talk about Paul. He wrote most of the new testiment and he started out as a persecuter of anyone who called Jesus Lord. God called him out so strongly that he lost his site for a while. God doesn't care who you think you aren't or who men say that you are. He chooses us and gives each of us instructions that do not change. We can put on a big show if we like and put ourselves through undue misery, but God will not change his instructions when he gives us work to do. None of our imperfections can serve as deal breakers when God calls us into line. He always makes provisions for our every deficiency. Every work that he places in front of us to do he helps us to do. God is miraculous like that. All things are possible with God.
I didn't think until now that my imperfections were just the silk screen to hide who I really am. What if I never mentioned my scars, would anyone notice them? Am I really only my scars? The marks of my life are not who I am, they are simply a part of an experience that I had. Who I am is who I was born to be by the ordination of God almighty. Those are the things that people won't see if they are focused on my scars or clothing. I am learning that when I am acting as who God wants me to be people don't notice anything wrong with me. I am not really suppose to be showing myself anyway, I am suppose to be showing God. In order for me to get to that point I have to present myself in a way that makes people welcome to visit with me. I don't have to come through every life situation looking and acting like a devested land because I know in whom I believe, and greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. I am a victor not a victim and I don't have to look or act like one. I have a mark that bears more weight than any other in my life and that is my seal of redemption. Instead of looking at my scars I will choose to look at my seal instead. I am marked by God am therefore equipped for any purpose that he has bestowed on me. I bear the heavenly stamp of approval which wipes out any other artificial qualifications I might think that I need. I have no excuse to be anything less or do anything less than what God has told me. He was patient and waited for me to end my show of excuses and now he has said his part "do what I said. You can do it." I have a purpose and I will do whatever he allows me to get it done. It has never worked in anyone's favor to say "no" to God or "but." It never works out how we think it will, and I for one would not like to be digested or blinded. Thank God for his understanding and mercy concerning me.
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