OPERATION!

I remember when I had my son.  I felt like I was going to explode, and doctors were scrambling to relieve the pressure.  the nurses ran to give me everything, and thank God for that. I especially remember the moment when the doctors came to me to inform me that they needed to operate.  As soon as I gave them permission everything moved quickly and I became like the person from the operation game.  I was so tired that there was nothing I could do but lay there.  Today I feel like I am going to explode and the Lord has begun to operate on some of the most sensitive areas of my life. Taking friends here and there, moving opportunities in and out.  He is challenging my ideas for my future and my heart, but there is nothing that I can do but rest in his arms because I gave him permission. My life is completely out of my hands, and it is exhausting. I can only continue in this way because I know that something wonderful is coming from this.

The Lord is showing me myself along the way to let me know why I am having such a difficult time bringing forth the vision he placed in me. The truth has sometimes turned my stomach, but I know that he is right because Jesus is the way the truth and the life. He showed me that I am holding on to extra things besides my baby vision just like little expanding tumors.  One thing that I was holding on so tightly to was my job.  I had formed such attachments that I could barely leave when it was time for me to go.  Another attachment was a friend.  These relationships have places in my heart, and it is painful to remove or distance myself from them. I can feel the cutting very distinctly.  One thing I will say is that the Lord is a skilled surgeon. He only cuts exactly what needs to be cut, and he heals incisions perfectly. The word of the Lord is truly sharper than any two edged sword...or scalpal.  Just as truly the Lord is a balm, a healer.  I am slowly being reconstructed and it hurts, but I am going to be all the better for it.  He is carefully pruning me to bring forth greater things then ever before.  I guess I can't rush God if he is working his perfect work on me.  I will just bless the Lord that he loves me enough to take his time on me. 

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