Quiet Please!!!!!

I think I have hit a time in my life where I am sick of the noise.  TV, babbling, unnecessary ranting, it all does something to my insides that I don't enjoy.  I only want to read, speak, or listen to things that are good to the edifying of God's Kingdom.  I don't even desire to talk anymore.  I just want peace and quiet so that I can hear God better and process my thoughts.  This is a new season for me.  I used to really enjoy being roudy and loud as an expression of joy or a release of tension, but now when I get upset I get really quiet.  I don't talk to anyone and I don't rant or vent.  I just hold my breathe and wait for the moment to pass.  If there is something that I can do to make the situation better I do that, but otherwise I just wait for the issue to pass.  Sometimes I pray silently or sing to myself. I allow time to feel my emotions and then to grieve the situation if there is one.  I don't feel as much of a need to show my feelings in such an obvious expression.  My face does enough talking for me.  If a look could kill I would be so guilty!  I need time to say what I need to say without leaving people crushed or angry. I suppose inward contemplation could drive a girl insane, but I am not afraid of my own thoughts and feelings.  I am not running from how I feel or pretending to be one way when I am really another.  I talk when I need to because I don't want to do any harm. It's not difficult to hurt people, but it is difficult to make them forget when you do.  The Bible says to let our words be seasoned.  When I hold my tongue, I am just letting my words marinade while I have a little conversation with God.  My words mean more to me then they used to, and I don't want to waste them or abuse them.  When I speak I want to speak life.

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