Bless the Lord
This last year(or 3) has been really difficult for me. I mean physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually my life has wiped me out. I spent more time crying than laughing and spent more time reflecting than rejoicing. Never the less I can see now why God doesn't worry. His plans for me were perfect, but while I was frustrated I missed out on the peace that God wanted for me. I bless the Lord because the last two months I looked up and saw God's signature on my life. He has marked me for his and he is making beautiful artistry of my life. He is profound in how he has placed me exactly where I need to be to the point where he reminded me of what I said I was going to do with my life when I went to college.
God requested that I let go of all of my securities including my job and someone that I loved and then a year later he place me in a position to meet people who desperately wanted me, and needed me, to use my skills to help in ministry. I said something to my family and school that sounded crazy at the time, and without knowing it my church sent me a person who asked me to do just what I said. I had forgotten until I met this person what I said I would do in ministry after I finished school. I still haven't finished school (that used to bother me so much!!!), but I am now in the process of doing what I set out to do for the Lord and my career when I was 17. I may have forgotten or stopped believing that my dream would happen but God didn't. If I had stayed at school I may have never been in this place. If my family hadn't needed me so much I may not have been in the right state for my destiny. I bless the Lord because he knows exactly what I need to happen in my life and then facilitates it; I bless God because he qualifies me where I would deny myself.
I say all of this as a testimony of God's ability to color our lives with the exact measure of trouble, loss, pressure, and passion that we need to become who we never thought that we could be. We may have a big picture for our lives, but God thinks even bigger than we do. What we think is for our destruction may be the very thing that makes us who we need to be.
A while ago I decided that no matter what I was going to bless the Lord, and quite honestly it was hard for me to do because I thought my hopes didn't mean much to God. When I was crying as I sang the worship songs and held out my hands in church (and at home) I was in agony because I felt worthless. It was truly a sacrifice of praise, and some days I could hardly make myself do it.
For a while I thought that God didn't care if I ate or not if I slept or not, if I dressed or not, or if I functioned or not. I was afraid that all of my effort to honor him was worthless because he didn't care about what I did. I was the child that was sent to my room and forgotten about. That was totally incorrect by the way, God does see and care about each of us. He is right with us all the time, and he never forgets.
So as my last hurrah I said that even if my life turns out terrible and I die a shamefully useless person I was still going to bless God because there had to be a bigger picture than me. Maybe I just was alive to bless the Lord and die. By this time I had forgotten to wash my hair way too many times, I left meals uneaten because I didn't feel like putting forth the effort to chew, and I was wearing my sister - in - law's clothes to avoid washing my own because I didn't feel like going in the basement. I was holding it together just barely enough to go out in public. No matter how bad a felt or looked though I determined that God would be praised even if it was through the grinding of my teeth because as miserable as I was God was still God.
Today I bless the Lord because God is God and he is genius! He loved me so much that he let me be miserable so that I wouldn't miss my calling. He is a wonderful daddy. So many people think that kids who's parents don't let them ever get hurt are the best, but I believe the best parents are those that model after God's method. Children need a certain amount of struggle to teach, prepare, humble, strengthen, and assure them. Children who have never experienced failure or hurt sometimes are more afraid of those things than children who have been through it and survived. Sometimes those children are so afraid that they never try anything. This is not God's plan for anyone. We all have work to do here and therefore we must take some risks. God allows hurt and failure into our lives because he knows the value of them. This is not to say that God sets us up for these things (we are very effective at doing that ourselves), but God allows these things and guides us through them to better places in our lives. We only have to follow God to find out that his plans for us are good and we are blessed. Even on our worst days we are blessed, and so even on our worst days let's bless God. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning, and just as the SUN is rising as I write this I know that the SON will rise in your life too. Amen
God requested that I let go of all of my securities including my job and someone that I loved and then a year later he place me in a position to meet people who desperately wanted me, and needed me, to use my skills to help in ministry. I said something to my family and school that sounded crazy at the time, and without knowing it my church sent me a person who asked me to do just what I said. I had forgotten until I met this person what I said I would do in ministry after I finished school. I still haven't finished school (that used to bother me so much!!!), but I am now in the process of doing what I set out to do for the Lord and my career when I was 17. I may have forgotten or stopped believing that my dream would happen but God didn't. If I had stayed at school I may have never been in this place. If my family hadn't needed me so much I may not have been in the right state for my destiny. I bless the Lord because he knows exactly what I need to happen in my life and then facilitates it; I bless God because he qualifies me where I would deny myself.
I say all of this as a testimony of God's ability to color our lives with the exact measure of trouble, loss, pressure, and passion that we need to become who we never thought that we could be. We may have a big picture for our lives, but God thinks even bigger than we do. What we think is for our destruction may be the very thing that makes us who we need to be.
A while ago I decided that no matter what I was going to bless the Lord, and quite honestly it was hard for me to do because I thought my hopes didn't mean much to God. When I was crying as I sang the worship songs and held out my hands in church (and at home) I was in agony because I felt worthless. It was truly a sacrifice of praise, and some days I could hardly make myself do it.
For a while I thought that God didn't care if I ate or not if I slept or not, if I dressed or not, or if I functioned or not. I was afraid that all of my effort to honor him was worthless because he didn't care about what I did. I was the child that was sent to my room and forgotten about. That was totally incorrect by the way, God does see and care about each of us. He is right with us all the time, and he never forgets.
So as my last hurrah I said that even if my life turns out terrible and I die a shamefully useless person I was still going to bless God because there had to be a bigger picture than me. Maybe I just was alive to bless the Lord and die. By this time I had forgotten to wash my hair way too many times, I left meals uneaten because I didn't feel like putting forth the effort to chew, and I was wearing my sister - in - law's clothes to avoid washing my own because I didn't feel like going in the basement. I was holding it together just barely enough to go out in public. No matter how bad a felt or looked though I determined that God would be praised even if it was through the grinding of my teeth because as miserable as I was God was still God.
Today I bless the Lord because God is God and he is genius! He loved me so much that he let me be miserable so that I wouldn't miss my calling. He is a wonderful daddy. So many people think that kids who's parents don't let them ever get hurt are the best, but I believe the best parents are those that model after God's method. Children need a certain amount of struggle to teach, prepare, humble, strengthen, and assure them. Children who have never experienced failure or hurt sometimes are more afraid of those things than children who have been through it and survived. Sometimes those children are so afraid that they never try anything. This is not God's plan for anyone. We all have work to do here and therefore we must take some risks. God allows hurt and failure into our lives because he knows the value of them. This is not to say that God sets us up for these things (we are very effective at doing that ourselves), but God allows these things and guides us through them to better places in our lives. We only have to follow God to find out that his plans for us are good and we are blessed. Even on our worst days we are blessed, and so even on our worst days let's bless God. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning, and just as the SUN is rising as I write this I know that the SON will rise in your life too. Amen
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