What makes Me worth Anything?
I thank God that I have learned a lot about myself and how God wants me to live through my family's teaching and my digging into my salvation, but after several years of struggling with understanding my worth I realized this week that I am still struggling. It actually brought me tears to be given money for school from a family member. I felt like a burden and a blot on my family. I wondered through my uncontrollable tears "why is that so terrible for me?" God's answer to me was staggering. He said that I didn't feel like I was worth the amount of money that they were giving me, which wasn't an overwhelming amount. In my curriculum I ask girls to try to place a value on themselves, and unfortunately it hit me like a ton of bricks that I didn't think that I was worth a couple hundred dollars!!! Lord have mercy!!! It is one thing to say that I am priceless, but if a price is mentioned that people want to give me I don't even think I am worthy of that. OUCH!!!! I didn't even ask for the money they offered it. Am I crazy or what?!!!
It reminds me of the story that people in church tell of the man that wanted God to save him from a flood. God sent him people to help him, but he wouldn't accept their help proclaiming that God was going to save him. It wasn't until he spoke to God after his death that he realized that those people were God's handy work. There is a scripture in the Bible that talks about God blessing us and overflowing MEN would give to us. I have such a hard time with that. There are so many people who have helped me over the years and I wish I could just express how grateful I am and at the same time it grieves me that I don't have anything to offer them but my thank you. There are women in my old church that did all kinds of wonderful things for me, and I know that they did it because they love me. I love them too, but I don't have anything but my love to give. Lord please bless those that have sown into me so that they overflow with blessings!!!! In Jesus name, Amen.
Sometimes I write and you can tell that I am looking back with a sense of understanding and maturity, but this one still stings. I am not there yet. Lord help me. Am I the only one that doesn't want to take from people without giving them something? I feel like it is wrong to ask or receive something without an exchange. I asked God what makes me worth any of this? (I was in a really bad place people). God answered me with a simple "because I said so." Who makes us of such great worth; God does. How did he prove that we are priceless? He sent his only begotten son Jesus Christ and told him to die for us to purchase us from the enemy. God bought us with the blood of Jesus (How many of us know that the most serious of contracts are signed in blood? Shout out to Independence Day). Our purchaser knows how much we are worth and if he says we are worthy than we are.
Of course there is some pride involved in the issue. I don't want to be the girl who people had to give a hand out to. I don't want to look at myself and think "you couldn't cut it." Lord knows that I sure don't want other people saying that. For me to receive from others is a humbling moment for me, and I suppose I should be grateful because there are many other and more painful ways to be humbled. Thank you Lord for your gentle hand working on me. I am only sharing this to help anyone else who feels like me. Let's get better together. For those of you that don't have this problem, God bless you. Please pray for me. LOVE YOU!
It reminds me of the story that people in church tell of the man that wanted God to save him from a flood. God sent him people to help him, but he wouldn't accept their help proclaiming that God was going to save him. It wasn't until he spoke to God after his death that he realized that those people were God's handy work. There is a scripture in the Bible that talks about God blessing us and overflowing MEN would give to us. I have such a hard time with that. There are so many people who have helped me over the years and I wish I could just express how grateful I am and at the same time it grieves me that I don't have anything to offer them but my thank you. There are women in my old church that did all kinds of wonderful things for me, and I know that they did it because they love me. I love them too, but I don't have anything but my love to give. Lord please bless those that have sown into me so that they overflow with blessings!!!! In Jesus name, Amen.
Sometimes I write and you can tell that I am looking back with a sense of understanding and maturity, but this one still stings. I am not there yet. Lord help me. Am I the only one that doesn't want to take from people without giving them something? I feel like it is wrong to ask or receive something without an exchange. I asked God what makes me worth any of this? (I was in a really bad place people). God answered me with a simple "because I said so." Who makes us of such great worth; God does. How did he prove that we are priceless? He sent his only begotten son Jesus Christ and told him to die for us to purchase us from the enemy. God bought us with the blood of Jesus (How many of us know that the most serious of contracts are signed in blood? Shout out to Independence Day). Our purchaser knows how much we are worth and if he says we are worthy than we are.
Of course there is some pride involved in the issue. I don't want to be the girl who people had to give a hand out to. I don't want to look at myself and think "you couldn't cut it." Lord knows that I sure don't want other people saying that. For me to receive from others is a humbling moment for me, and I suppose I should be grateful because there are many other and more painful ways to be humbled. Thank you Lord for your gentle hand working on me. I am only sharing this to help anyone else who feels like me. Let's get better together. For those of you that don't have this problem, God bless you. Please pray for me. LOVE YOU!
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