We overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony (see Revelation 12:11) Freedom is in the truth; of my struggles and God's grace. This is my eye witness testimony.
It's Hard to Believe He Loves Me
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It is my daily struggle to believe the most basic of all Christian principles; it is hard to believe that God loves me. Some days are better than others, but every day is a struggle. It is easy to deductively analyze my life and say, "Yeah, it doesn't add up. It can't possibly be right." It may be easy for other people to look at me and say, "you're a wonderful woman of God. He's proud of you." They don't see everything. They don't know what God and I know about me. They don't know every time I thought something mean or hateful. They don't know every deceptive things I've done. They don't know every time I didn't speak up for what was right for my own personal gain. They don't know my tendencies or my secret sins. When I look at the pile up from the past twenty something years, it is devastating to me. It's easy to chalk it all up and conclude that I am unlovable. I am guessing that I am not the only one that has felt this way before. Thanks be to God that he loved me so much he sent Jesus Christ to pay for my messed up, sin riddled life with his perfect life. God pushed through the grime to get to me and he isn't letting me go. He isn't letting you go either. God has seen it all, and he loves us. He has seen what we haven't even seen about ourselves yet, and he loves us. He knows what we like, and he loves us. He knows what we're addicted to and he loves us. He knows who we've done wrong, and he loves. He knows our premeditated evil, and he loves us. He knows the things that we got away with, and he loves us. He knows it all; he knew it all from the beginning. He loves us. There is no question, and no prerequisite. He loves us, period. God is not for everything that we do, but he is always for us. As I unwrap the tangles and knots of my life, God is showing me who I am, and it hurts, but he is also showing me that he is not going anywhere. He is pulling me up out of the muck and into the sunshine. The Lord has required me to open up my pack and show him what I've been carrying on my journey of faith, and it has made me tired and frail. Every time I think it's enough the Lord tells me to go deeper into my pack, dig deeper into myself. It's hard to think someone loves you when they are exposing your most vulnerable of places, and cutting away the shield at your most sensitive of areas. He's cutting away all of the superficial flourishes and getting down to roots of my struggles. At this point there is no turning away, no "I'm not ready yet." There is no "I have to go to the bathroom" or "I forgot to do..." All I have to hold on to now is the promised Word that God loves me. No matter what this world tries to show me or tell me, I am determined to hold on to the truth that if no one else in this world loves me, God does. I am also determined that no matter what, I will be the second person to love me. If God can love me, than I can love me. Unconditional love isn't earned or lost. It is simply given by choice. God has chosen to love me and he has chosen to love you too. This is salvation, that we accept God's love and forgiveness through Jesus Christ his only son who died on a cross and rose again to prepare a place for us in heaven so that we could live with him as his kingdom kids. Everything in this world is trying to stop us from accepting God's love because if we do accept his love, then there is nothing in this world that can measure up to it or separate us from it. Lord,Thank you for loving us while we were yet sinners, and when we forget how much you love us. Help us to rest in your love and not need to wrestle with it so much. Help us to hold on to your promises and let go of every lie, or obsolete truth, that this world has ever told us about ourselves and about you. In Jesus name, Amen
So I find that there are certain things that when done make for a much better day than when I don't do them. As a single mom sometimes it gets hard to do these and then everything seems to be a bigger ordeal for me. Lord help me to do better with that. I would tell you don't judge me, but I know you are going to do it anyway so I will say please be gracious toward me. 1. Start the snowball of positive thinking : For me this means prayers of thanks, reading my Bible, listening to positive music, writing a letter to God or to myself, even watching some Veggie Tales (what do you know about those Veggies?) with my son sometimes. The reality is there is enough negative that comes at me; why would I invite anything other than a flood of positive truth into my mind and my life? This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it...or else!!! haha just kidding (sort of) 2. Wash up!: Remember when I said be gracious?...
As I get ready to celebrate Memorial Day when we remember the veterans who have served in the armed forces I can't help but think about Ephesians chapter 6. I think of those who have armored up for not only this country, but for God's country. We should be eternally grateful to these people, and as we remember them for their bravery not just for America's sake but also for the sake of the people of God. Some of us have stood in the gap for others, and many people still are standing in the gap for us. Many men and women have risked their lives, and some given their lives, to protect/prevent us from disaster both physically and spiritually. The Kingdom of God is real, and we Christians have residency there. Just as the veterans of our country there are veterans of the Kingdom of God. Paul was a veteran for example, and he gave up his life for the sake of the gospel. Every person who has stood up against evil in this world and held up the b...
People often times think of charity cases as people who are pathetic and desparately in need of someone to preserve their existance with some act of giving. Some people pull out a check book or say a quick prayer, and trust me when I say those things are helpful, but charity is much more than that according to the Bible. Charity can suffer for a long time and still be kind. Charity is humble and honest. Charity is everything that Christ did for us with his life, death, and resurrection. Charity is something that we all need. I need for people to be kind to me when I get on their nerves. I need people to appoach me with humility when they see that I am going through something. I need people to not rejoice in evil things, but to rejoice in the truth. I need people who will bear with me, and believe in me. If we were all honest I think that we would say that we are in need of people like this in our lives. We need charity, a...
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