My journey of faith has taken quite a turn since last year. I was given a year off ministry to have a baby and regroup after one of the most public moments of ministry I have ever experienced. That year is up now, and I have a husband and new baby to show for it. This has been my pattern now for a while. I push very hard in ministry and experience life changing tests personally. My new marriage and status as a mother of two is both a blessing and a test. I have stepped onto new territory in this journey of faith, and my resolve has been challenged over and over again.
Almost immediately after getting married life hit my husband and I very hard. My husband got very sick, and stayed that way for two months while doctors came in and out just to see the anomaly that was something they knew almost nothing about. They didn't know what he had or how to treat it. He had just started a new job, and this meant his first impression was that of a sickly man. I was unable to work because of the difficulties I was dealing with concerning my pregnancy. (Yes, I was pregnant when I got married and no premarital sex is not the perfect will of God for any of our lives) Finances suffered, and everything that could come with financial hardship seemed to jump on the bandwagon of our lives.
I had learned with my first son not to think of any pregnancy as punishment because every life is precious to God, but sickness and financial misfortune seemed like punishment. I tried hard not to think God was punishing us for our failure, but it was hard. This is just an aside here, but consequence and punishment are not the same thing exactly because consequence is simply the results of our choices. They could be natural or man made, and it could be good or bad. Punishment is always bad. If our hardship was his hand then I can live with that because I believe that a loving father only puts enough hardship on his children to make them better, and then he restores them thoroughly. If God hadn't placed it on the hearts of our family and friends to help us, we would have been homeless, childless, and hungry all the time.
Even in this struggle we were never left alone. God has been with us all the way. What a 23 moment! Even though we have gone through the valley of the shadow of death God has been with us, and I have chosen vehemently to reject fear. In times like this what has been challenged most is my understanding of who God is to me. My response has been most successful when I simply state my Bible. Just as Jesus said to Satan when he was tempted in the wilderness after being baptised for ministry, I have determined to respond " it is written..." Holy spirit has constantly reminded me of scripture every time a negative idea tried to bubble up in me. This is why scripture says to his the word in our hearts. It is the only thing that can sustain us in hard times and keeps humble in good time as well. I can always rejoice when I remember my God and his love for me. Even in the worst circumstances my God is in control and nothing can separate me from his love. He keeps every promise and in him I always win.
The thing about tests is that they show both our strengths and weaknesses, through these trying times I believe I have discovered what God wanted me to see about myself. I need to be more disciplined personally and professionally. God has gifted me for the ministry that he has for me. He gave a purpose and the tools to achieve that purpose, but he also made me responsible for all of that. I need to be more discerning and intentional with what God had given me. I need to be more professional in every area of my life in order to live better and serve better. It is perfect timing that I have been assigned my first task in ministry as a teacher of a stewardship class. Discipline is stewardship! God is so clever. In order to be prepared I am now going back over everything that I have learned about stewardship and being renewed in that area of my life. God is teaching me the value of thought out steps in my journey of faith. The best life to live is one that is in purpose AND on purpose. I believe this time in my life is about perfecting the later. So I have determined to rejoice even in this struggle because I know that God is working on me in it and I am grateful because I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. I Feel like Paul when he wrote to the Philippians that I have learned to be content in whatever situation God has me. Philippians chapter 4 is my encouragement right now. Read it for yourself and let that word renew your mind. Whatever the situation in your life, if God had ever had you, he still does. Philippians 4
Almost immediately after getting married life hit my husband and I very hard. My husband got very sick, and stayed that way for two months while doctors came in and out just to see the anomaly that was something they knew almost nothing about. They didn't know what he had or how to treat it. He had just started a new job, and this meant his first impression was that of a sickly man. I was unable to work because of the difficulties I was dealing with concerning my pregnancy. (Yes, I was pregnant when I got married and no premarital sex is not the perfect will of God for any of our lives) Finances suffered, and everything that could come with financial hardship seemed to jump on the bandwagon of our lives.I had learned with my first son not to think of any pregnancy as punishment because every life is precious to God, but sickness and financial misfortune seemed like punishment. I tried hard not to think God was punishing us for our failure, but it was hard. This is just an aside here, but consequence and punishment are not the same thing exactly because consequence is simply the results of our choices. They could be natural or man made, and it could be good or bad. Punishment is always bad. If our hardship was his hand then I can live with that because I believe that a loving father only puts enough hardship on his children to make them better, and then he restores them thoroughly. If God hadn't placed it on the hearts of our family and friends to help us, we would have been homeless, childless, and hungry all the time.
Even in this struggle we were never left alone. God has been with us all the way. What a 23 moment! Even though we have gone through the valley of the shadow of death God has been with us, and I have chosen vehemently to reject fear. In times like this what has been challenged most is my understanding of who God is to me. My response has been most successful when I simply state my Bible. Just as Jesus said to Satan when he was tempted in the wilderness after being baptised for ministry, I have determined to respond " it is written..." Holy spirit has constantly reminded me of scripture every time a negative idea tried to bubble up in me. This is why scripture says to his the word in our hearts. It is the only thing that can sustain us in hard times and keeps humble in good time as well. I can always rejoice when I remember my God and his love for me. Even in the worst circumstances my God is in control and nothing can separate me from his love. He keeps every promise and in him I always win.
The thing about tests is that they show both our strengths and weaknesses, through these trying times I believe I have discovered what God wanted me to see about myself. I need to be more disciplined personally and professionally. God has gifted me for the ministry that he has for me. He gave a purpose and the tools to achieve that purpose, but he also made me responsible for all of that. I need to be more discerning and intentional with what God had given me. I need to be more professional in every area of my life in order to live better and serve better. It is perfect timing that I have been assigned my first task in ministry as a teacher of a stewardship class. Discipline is stewardship! God is so clever. In order to be prepared I am now going back over everything that I have learned about stewardship and being renewed in that area of my life. God is teaching me the value of thought out steps in my journey of faith. The best life to live is one that is in purpose AND on purpose. I believe this time in my life is about perfecting the later. So I have determined to rejoice even in this struggle because I know that God is working on me in it and I am grateful because I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. I Feel like Paul when he wrote to the Philippians that I have learned to be content in whatever situation God has me. Philippians chapter 4 is my encouragement right now. Read it for yourself and let that word renew your mind. Whatever the situation in your life, if God had ever had you, he still does. Philippians 4
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