Just Ask for It

I have missed out on so many things in my life simply because I didn't ask for help.  Free things and opportunities have passed me by again and again.  God is working on me with this because he never intended for God's people to live completely separate of other people.  We were made in the context of family, and family exists to help everyone thrive.  If we were made to help each other than why don't we ask for help?  I can tell you that for me, asking for help feels like admitting my own weaknesses. It also carries the risk of changing my relationships.  If I finally shut down my personal pride to ask for help and I get a negative response, it might hurt our relationship. Oddly, while both of these things are valid and true, they are also hindrances to growth in every area of my life.  

In this season of my life I feel like God is working on my perspective of "the ask."  I used to think that people who were constantly ask for things were selfish, shallow, lazy, and weak.  While these things may have been true some of the time, this attitude doesn't sound much like that of a  Jesus follower right?  Surely I had no clue why some people were asking for things that I thought they didn't earn or deserve, but I assumed the worst.  Can you see now why I didn't want to be like them? For a year I struggled with no income after having my oldest son, but it took my mother telling me several times to get assistance before I would.  I didn't want to be on food stamps.  I didn't want to be a burden to society.  My mother seriously had to explain to me that the program was in place for people struggling like me and that for the sake of my pride, my family was suffering. It wasn't just me anymore.  The ask is for the people in need AND in want of something.  It takes humility and courage to ask for what you need and want.

There are only a couple of answers that you can get when you ask and one of them is yes.  My circle of wisdom is a large one, and several of those people including grandparents and friends have said to me a variation of "why not ask?  The worst thing they can say is no, and then you're not any worse off than you are now. "  I am finding this to be so true.  Just as true is the fact that by not asking we are robbing ourselves and those we would ask of the opportunity found in a "yes".  It is a blessing to hear it and a blessing to be able to give it.  We "have not because [we] ask not" (Mathew 7:7).  There are things in our lives that God wants to say yes to, but it requires that we be mature enough to ask.  

Sometimes the only qualification to get something is that we ask.  I remember being a senior in college, and I applied for a lot of scholarships because I knew that even with my good grades that school would be expensive.  In my exhaustion, I started to miss deadlines. My church affiliation got the churches together every year to celebrate its graduates and announce the scholarships. I went knowing the outcome of my application.  When the recipients were announced, without my name included, everyone at my table looked at me and asked, "Did you apply?"  I almost choked on my response because I hadn't.  Everyone knew that if I had just applied then I would have gotten that money.  Just imagine how many blessings have been waiting on us to ask for them.  How many jobs could we have had if we just applied?  How many grants we could have if we just applied?  How many sponsors we could have if we just asked.  

"Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, know and it shall be opened unto you. " (Mathew 7:7)  

These are direct instructions from the word of God and promises to his people.  Ask for it, search for it, and prepare for it.  

What if I have been doing all of those things and not seeing results? If I am asking for something that God doesn't want for me, he'll let me know with a no.  If I am searching for something that should not be found, then God will let me know by keeping it hidden. If am preparing for something that isn't for me, then God will let me know by letting me wear myself out only to not get it or even more painful see someone else get it.  God is a good, loving, and wise God.  He will not set me up for failure and ruin.  He'll allow it to a degree, but he won't set me up for it.  It's like asking a parent for a car.  If you are not skilled enough to drive and be responsible for that car then the answer has to be no.  if you won't put in the effort to learn how to drive or care for the car then the answer has to be no.  Maybe you are willing to learn and you are responsible but are too small and young to drive legally, then the answer is no.  You can do everything right but not be ready and the answer is no.  That's good parenting.  

When I come to the end of myself and my plans, I remember that God has a plan for all of our lives, and maybe God knows something that I don't.  When we ask for something that God doesn't want for us that is called asking amiss.  We need to ask within God's parameters for our lives, and then God will say "yes". Ask yourself a few questions and you may find whether or not your ask is in God's will. 

1: Will this thing make me a better person? 

2: Will this thing be something that will bring God glory or man? 

3: Is this something that would go against God's Holy Word? 

4: Am I struggling to justify this ask? 

We need to make sure that we are staying close to God so that we are in line with his will for us.  Pressing up against God's will is exhausting, embarrassing, and a waste of precious time. 

When I stop trying to call rocks (my plans for me) food (God's promises for me) and I look for where God is nourishing me then I start to come to life. Those spiritual crumbs entice me to ask for more and look for more of that life giving substance, and in this way he stokes my desires for the things that He wants for me.  Let us all pray that the Lord would give us an appetite for the things that he wants for us.  When we obtain a healthy appetite, we will ask for good things and God will give them.  

Matthew 7:9-11 

9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?